IF ONLY she...
If only we all had a voice that could be expressed without criticism or retribution. If only we were all accepted for who we are and not who others want us to be.
Could we thrive by being silent and invisible? By being an outcast and a scapegoat? What would it be like to experience not being supported, encouraged, and recognized for who you are? What would it be like to survive and learn to thrive by just relying on yourself?
This is a story of first generation Italian American parents who suffered through the Great Depression and how that trauma was passed down to their children. It describes a child's survival and resilience, awareness and strength and how this child survived not only the impact of her culture, but an early childhood trauma. The author analyzes the behavior stemming from a child's dysfunctional relationship with her parents. It is funny, sarcastic and sad all at the same time. This childhood is a marinade of the Sicilian and Nablidon (Neopolitan) culture.
Now available at all major stores
Book details
ISBN-13 (paperback): 9798886796407
PUBLISHED DATE: 10/23/2024
PUBLISHER: LUMINARE PRESS
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About Me
DIANE HARTH is a retired Clinical Social Worker, who closed her practice after 22 years. She attended college and started her career when she was middle aged. As an undergrad, Diane worked at a battered women's shelter which enabled her to understand the dynamics behind domestic violence.
Upon receiving her MSW degree from Fordham University, she worked on a locked psych unit for over three years getting her clinical experience.
Diane was able to apply her clinical skills to analyze and explain her life experience as a survivor of an attempted abduction.
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Diane lives at the Jersey Shore with her husband and enjoys spending time with her granddaughters.
IF ONLY she …
Had wanted me
Had supported me
Had encouraged me
Had protected me
Had listened to me
Had seen me
Had snuggled with me
Had validated me
Had cared for me
Had welcomed me
Had embraced me
IF ONLY she …
Had liked me!
© Marshall S. Harth
13 April 2024 0700
@ Long Branch
Poem inspired by reading IF ONLY she…
by Diane Harth, 2024
[Luminare Press, Eugene, OR]
At the start of one of the chapters in Diane Harth’s fascinating memoir, If Only she… she writes, “I always wanted to become a hair stylist but my mom said I didn’t have the personality to deal with people, so I became a psychotherapist instead.”
It’s one of the many insights from the difficult relationship Diane had with her mother, a first generation Italian American, that she shares in her debut book. An unwanted third child of a middle class New Jersey family, Diane recounts in painful – and at times humorous – detail not only her experiences growing up, but about becoming a suburban wife, mother, and office worker. Ultimately, Diane explains, it was not a satisfying experience.
Diane’s memoir – like her life, actually – moves forward in an inspirational way after she proactively deals with her troubling family situations. The result is a new career after never having “thought, anticipated, or expected to ever graduate from college,” and finding more fulfilling relationships in her life. The road to liberation was often bumpy, however, as some of Diane’s past continued lurking in the shadows and, frequently, staring directly at her face.
This is more than a book about the trials and tribulations of a grandchild of Italian immigrants. It’s more than a story of someone who overcomes numerous obstacles to achieve a sense of self-fulfillment. It’s a memoir that gives readers a close look into many of the issues women faced in the 20th century – and continue to deal with today – through a series of interesting stories in language that alternates between tugging at the hearts of readers and making them laugh. It’s a literary triumph about family relations and new beginnings that book readers will be grateful they experienced through the words of a skillful storyteller.
—Charles Lopez Bruns, author of Fatherlands: Identities of a Cuban American
The personal journey from a hurt vulnerable child to an adult who finds her path. Diane Harth’s memoir brings to life the long reaching effects of a childhood deprived of unconditional love. It’s ultimately a hopeful story of finding purpose and human connection. Her narrative affirms that change is possible through intentionality and the gifts of friendship, mentorship and romantic love.